FUSSA, JAPAN—The President of the United States has begun his discuss of Asia by making the startling explanation that he was privately sexually assaulted by Hillary Clinton.
Mr. Trump alleges the occurrence happened in October, 2016 during the second presidential discuss with Mrs. Clinton and claims the DNC intentionally covered up the story to help her get elected.
BREAKING: Trump Urges Kevin Spacey To Consider Career In Politics
The intolerable indictment came during a QA with the fabricated press corps at Yokota Air Base as the President addressed the FBI ramping up the review into his ties to the Russians.
“Are you at all endangered about the ascent review into your purported collusion with the Russian government?” one internal contributor asked, the first question.
Trump paused quickly to splash some water, privileged his throat, then seemed to review from a prepared statement.
“I’m over frightened to hear about these accusations. If there were ever links between me and Russia, we apologise. we overtly do not remember. we consider the reason for this may have been since we was sexually assaulted by Hillary Clinton.”
As shrill listened gasps were listened the dumbfounded publisher sputtered, “excuse me?”
“Yes it’s true. It happened during the debates,” Trump said, stealing his reading glasses. “She overwhelmed me in a very inapt way, and I’m an expert, trust me.”
“Bill watched, he enjoyed it. It was all very nasty. Hillary smirked at me but pronounced nothing, only that we really did not have any problem down there.”
The explanation explains a mysterious twitter from the President progressing this morning that simply review “#MeToo”.
The President pronounced the events of the past few weeks left him compelled to pronounce out observant “now was the right time”. He called on special warn to the Russian review Robert Mueller, to immediately “drop everything” and concentration only on opening a full and consummate review into the allegations he just made.
“Didn’t she also supply the election and the DNC?” one RT publisher next asked Trump.
“Yes. She raped me, just like she raped Bernie,” he replied, before demanding Mueller supplement that to the flourishing list of atrocities committed by the Clintons and the Democratic Party.
‘Nothing else matters,” he concluded, instructing the press that he would no longer be responding questions on any subject other than his accusations against the Clintons for the residue of his 11-day trip.
Were you or someone you know sexually assaulted by Hillary Clinton? Please follow us on Facebook and Twitter and let us know.