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All Donald Trump Wants for Christmas

And to infer this complacency to my associate citizens, I’m going to share President Trump’s minute to Santa — or at slightest what we consider it would say. (Read it in Trump Voice for desired effect.)

Dear Santa,

First, I’d like to contend that you are very unequivocally tired, and really sad. I’ve been essay to you for over 65 years and you have nonetheless to respond. This will be my last try until my next attempt.

Listed next are things we need, and what we deserve. we design to accept all in a timely manner.

The Wall. I’d like a pleasing wall, a clever high wall seasoned with the best, only the best, anti-MS-13 repellent. Please make Mexico compensate for it.


For Donald Jr., a “No Snitching” tattoo opposite his chest. Please don’t let my namesake, who has a very good name, be a rat.

Trade Mike Pence for Vladimir Putin. Pence blinks too much and it’s weird, he is tremendously not fun.

No taxes for the top 1 percent. They work too tough at making America great, they shouldn’t have to compensate taxes and under me they won’t, only the bad merit that.

Lock Hillary up. She’s crooked, she lost, she’s a very bad hombre, chuck divided the key.

A Robert Mueller scandal. Put some fun in his life, he thinks about me too much.

Melania, my wife, she’s very beautiful, you know, finally a 10 in the White House. She’s very classy. She doesn’t caring about my taxation plan. She’s reading to sick kids, you know how we feel about germs, so if my daughter Ivanka, she’s very beautiful, very successful, if she could spend some-more time in my bureau reading to me and reduction time with Jared and his lawyers that would be really really nice.

Framed portraits of Barack Obama, Sean Hannity and Vladimir Putin. What can we say, they finish me.

An apology from LaVar Ball and a appreciate you from LaVar Ball for being his biggest impulse and saving his son.

An edited chronicle of my personal taxes from the years 1970-2016. I’m really unequivocally sleepy of people asking about them.

An end to feign news. It’s time for the unwell New York Times to really fail, and CNN and the very bad people of magnanimous media to be tucked divided and dark like my taxes. Take that crook Alec Baldwin, washed-up Meryl Streep and the unwell Rosie O’Donnell as well.

Santa, you are very fat and very old, but very obliged and valued by me, only we can value you. we consider you can lift this off, and if you do I’ll be a extensive child in 2018. If not, you will continue to be really sad.

Make America Great Again,

Your President, Donald J. Trump

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